dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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