so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize