I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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