You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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