shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
