I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
