You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
