Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
