the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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