dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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