he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize