I wannas sexs uuuuu
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
