Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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