No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
