Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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