I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
