I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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