No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
