I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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