Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Let's get the cat blown out
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize