his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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