i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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