Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
