Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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