No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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