I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
