he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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