this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize