Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Your cock deserves a montage
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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