i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I will die if light touches me.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Randomize
