I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Randomize
