Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
