i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
