I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
