Can Purell be used as lube?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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