Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
