He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize