it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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