I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
