You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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