How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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