No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
