the new term for farting is butt boxing.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
