No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
