So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
