You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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