i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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