Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize