Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
