He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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