why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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