So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
