If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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