stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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