We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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