: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
