Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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