I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You pole danced in your parka.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
