i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
