1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize