Jerry, you need to find god
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
