I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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