I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Jerry, you need to find god
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
