thus making me awesome and them whores
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
